A Raconteur Girl Production

Archive for July, 2014

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A Survivors Tale

 

 

It was the silence quote

 

 

A Survivors Tale

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I think I’m over it

I am sure I’m in repair

But then something stirs and shows me

The old wounds still fester

The old wounds are all still there

 

 

Memories slink in hidden corners

Ghost ships rising from silty graves

Nightmares resurrected

And it’s me they come to torture

It’s me they still enslave

 

 

You have no right! I scream

You have no right! I rage

You took your pound of flesh

Before I put flame to your sails

Before I broke free from your deep, dark cage

 

 

I fight you – still you come

I hate you – still you stay

Time after time I slay you

Why won’t you be done?

Why won’t you die where you lay?

 

 

I have my armor

I have my shield

Love is mine, mine forever

I know who I am

I know what is and isn’t real

 

 

But still you rise

Still you cut me

You pursue me like hound and hare

You take my truth and give me lies

You take my fear and gut me

 

 

I do not deserve this

I do not deserve to bleed

I was their scapegoat

They left me alone, they tied me up

They let the vultures feed

 

 

Charm and fire and whispers

Agendas and politics and pretence

Feathers caught in a whirlwind

Blown to kingdom come

Scattered to where there can be no defense

 

 

Faces of flint and backs of stone

Turned as one, turned to go

Bargains struck, deals made

Pouring oil on my burning pain

Fanning the flames of my woe

 

 

Where the balm and binding?

Where the healing hand?

Where the staff and crook?

Where the voice of reason?

Where the firm place to stand?

 

 

Nowhere

 

Nowhere the comfort and brace

Nowhere the wisdom

Nowhere the faith

Nowhere the all embracing grace

 

Nowhere

 

 

Those memories are the knives that cut

The stinging truths that make me sick

That is where the nightmares linger

Those cuts were deep

Those cuts still drip

 

 

So the Ghosts are going to win a while

Sunken ships shall rise and sail

And slinking memories will find me

Where the wounds still weep

Where I hide and shake and quail

 

 

This is my stake

This is the hammer and the nail

This is their creation

This is my story

This is what lies behind the veil

 

This is a survivor’s tale

 

 

 

Rach

2014

 

 

 

 

“Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.” 

Jennifer Yane

 

 

“An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation,

nor does truth become error because nobody sees it”

Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

“’Now I know what a ghost is,’ he thought. ‘Unfinished business, that’s what.’ “

Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses

 

 

“Thoughts shut up want air,
And spoil, like bales unopened to the sun.”
– Edward Young, Night Thoughts

 

 

“Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you’re just a reflection of him?”

– Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

 

 

Reality bites… and doesn’t let go.” – Anon

 



“There is no ghost so difficult to lay as the ghost of an injury.”

– Alexander Smith

 

 

 

“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”

– Stephen King

 

 

 

too tight shoes