A Raconteur Girl Production

Posts tagged “Heartbreak

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Skin Bottle

 

skin bottle - for blog

 

 

Skin Bottle

 

 

 

 

In the dead of night

Just before dawn

Mourning begins

And the tears are warm

 

Questions unanswered

From back at the start

There’s no way to know

What lies in another’s heart

 

Revealed through fire

When it’s all too late

Nothing left to do

But obey and wait

 

She turned her back

Walked away

From those who loved her

And the world turned grey

 

The mystery was alluring

The need was strong

Didn’t want to hear

Refused to be wrong

 

A hollow void

Carved out by a man

Was suddenly filled

With glittering sand

 

Warm and inviting

Covering every pot hole and sin

But only as long as

There is no gust of strong wind

 

In love with a shadow

With nothing real to say

So many voices calling

But she wouldn’t stay

 

Kept enthralled

By a rebels song

A self centered will

A heart headstrong

 

Choices are made

A path is chosen

Lives become splintered

Bonds are broken

 

An act of betrayal

Too painful to ignore

No one to beg

No one to implore

 

The anguish of a mother

A heart come undone

Silent tears of a brother

Wanting to run and run

 

A sisters every fear

Realized in a night

No one to go to

To make it alright

 

The die was cast

The stone was set

So now it’s time to move on

Time to let live and forget

 

There is no question

When it’s black and it’s white

You must go on

Though it feels a hopeless plight

 

This mourning will pass

Though it may dawn again

But it’s not unnoticed

And it’s not in vain

 

Tears and heartache

For a just cause

Won’t go unanswered

Or fall without reward

 

For nothing is impossible

There is a mountain of proof

When we put our trust

In the God of all truth

 

He knows the pain of betrayal

That bites deep like a knife

He knows it wounds and scars

That it changes your life

 

He’s lost love too

And knows the anguish

So he won’t forget us

Our fear he can vanquish

 

With care and affection

Our wounds he will bind

Our hurts will be lessened

It just takes some time

 

In a skin bottle

Is where he stores all our tears

Surely he does the same

With our pain and our fears

 

So let go and move on

Though weary through the night

Sure that hope remains

To those who try to do what is right

 

He’s not looking for perfection

He’s looking for love

Those that love may fall

But he’s keeping watch from above

 

When you’re crawling

When you’re stumbling around

He’s there beside you

Helping pick you up off the ground

 

So take the hand he is offering

Let him pull you near

You’ll feel his warm assurance

As he collects up all your tears

 

Know he feels our pain

When he sees our sorrow

And he promises an everlasting

And happy tomorrow

 

 

 

Rach

2009

 

 

“Those sowing seed with tears, will reap even with a joyful cry.”

– Psalms 126:5

 

 

“Jehovah is near to those broken at heart;

And those who are crushed in spirit he saves.”

– David, Son of Jesse, Psalms 34:8 

 

 

“With men this is impossible,

but with God all things are possible.”

– Jesus Christ, Matthew 19, 26

 

 

 

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The Paupers Prize

 

 

Evil Princess in Blue with Shadow -  with quote

 

 

 

The Paupers Prize

 

 

 

I have a tale to tell

A story the wise will listen to

A fairy tale nightmare

Told from a cautionary view

 

 

It’s the story of a Princess

And a Pauper too

The Princess wanted something

That the Pauper came to rue

 

 

Never stand between

A Princess and her Prize

Or she’ll use her sharpened tongue

To gauge out your eyes

 

 

She’ll send her witless courtiers

To torture you to death

And her witchy mother

With her poisonous breath

 

 

A Princess gets what she wants

No matter what the price

Even if it means slaughter

With charm and with lies

 

 

Her smile is sweet as saccharine

A most cunning device

But all the time she’s plotting

Your imminent demise

 

 

She’ll flatter you so sincerely

All the while concealing a knife

So if you have any sense

You’ll run for your life

 

 

She’ll take your magic mirror

She’ll steal your golden hope

She’ll lock you in a dungeon

Leave you dangling on a rope

 

 

While her court jesters entertain

With music and with joke

Your home she’ll be burning

To ashes and smoke

 

 

As she prances and poses

In glittering gowns and jewelled shoes

She sweeps everything away

With her killer baby blues

 

 

She’ll do the merry dance

She’ll sing the siren song

A Princess can do anything

And she’s never wrong

 

 

What she wants she always gets

With absolutely no exception

She makes sure her subjects

Give her all their attention

 

 

Everything shiny, sparkling, new

Everything outwardly sugar and spice

But in reality everything inside

Is malice, creepy crawlies and lice

 

 

So she’ll rampage and rage

Until she’s conquered and won

And where can a poor Pauper

Hope to run?

 

 

For a shallow soul

With calculated ambition

Will not see

And why should she listen?

 

 

A spoilt Princess

Rules with an iron hand

She does not care

And she can’t understand

 

 

So she sent her assassins

Who killed with stories and lies

So she could take what she coveted

The Paupers Prize

 

 

But the day the Pauper died

Was a beginning and an end

The Princess took her treasure

And the Pauper lost a friend

 

 

Now she’s preening in her mirror

Crowing over her Prize

The Princess hides so confidently

Behind her practised disguise

 

 

She polishes her crown

A confection of cardboard and glitter

She displays all the paste Jewels

She had made so perfectly to fit her

 

 

She must appear the perfect Princess

For she desires to become a Queen

So to keep her prestige and power

She stomps on Golden Mean

 

 

But for all her cold castles

And despite her wind up marching band

Her rampaging royal rump

Has been built on shifting sand

 

 

One day a perfect storm

Will wash it all away

All her subjects will be gone

Her kingdom left in disarray

 

 

No more glittering jewels

No more courtiers and witchy mother

No more disguises

No where to run for cover

 

 

She’ll find herself exposed

As an ugly crooked crone

Sitting cackling toothless

On a rusty tin throne

 

 

So the lesson is clear

The moral is this:

Never trust a Princess

One day you’ll discover – she’s a witch

 

 

Rach

2008

“Woe to you… hypocrites! Because you resemble whitewashed graves which outwardly indeed appear beautiful  but inside are full of dead men’s bones”

– Jesus Christ, Matthew 23:27

 

 

“Many a man’s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street” 

– Elbert Hubbard

 

 

 


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Quote: Have You Ever Been in Love?

 

 

Quote: Have You Ever Been in Love?


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Smiling Searching Thinking Knowing

 

Let her go Passenger

 

 

Smiling Searching Thinking Knowing

 

 

 

 

 

Smiling in the sunshine

Searching for a reason

Looking for a clue

Thinking about times past

Remembering those words

I’m thinking about you

 

 

Thinking if I were yours

What would you do?

It’s all too deep for you

Knowing you want easy

You want light

You want shiny and new

 

 

Thinking you wouldn’t be there

As I need you to be

I’ve seen the preview

Knowing you want acceptance

You want definition

Knowing you can’t take blue

 

 

Thinking of your shadows

Of your corners too

I have too clear a view

There’s nowhere to slide

Nowhere to blend

I see right on through

 

 

I don’t wear blinders

I don’t do masks

I won’t ignore what’s true

Knowing you can’t duck

You can’t hide

I’m looking straight at you

 

 

Thinking in the sunshine

Smiling in the warm

Taking in the view

Knowing it’s too late

Thinking of the things I’ll miss

Knowing I’ll miss you

 

 

 

2008

Rach

 

 

 

 

 

“Have you ever been in love?  Horrible isn’t it?  It makes you so vulnerable. 

It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. 

You build up all these defences, you build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life….

You give them a piece of you.  They didn’t ask for it.  They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. 

Love takes hostages.  It gets inside you.  It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.  It hurts. 

Not just in the imagination.  Not just in the mind.  It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.  I hate love.”

– Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

 

 

 


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Last Chorus Last Song

 

Tears and Memory

 

 

Last Chorus Last Song

 

 

 

I don’t know what I feel

I don’t know why I cry

I don’t know what these tears are for

When we already said goodbye

 

 

 

I don’t know what to think

I don’t know what to say

I didn’t see it coming

When we already went our own way

 

 

 

Is it the end of an era

Is it the beginning of the past

Is it the questions left unanswered

That make me feel this at last

 

 

 

Is it the memories that linger

Is it the feeling still there

Is it the smile in my heart

That finally lays it all bare

 

 

 

The heart is a funny thing

The heart fools and lies

The heart finds a way back

Even after all the goodbyes

 

 

 

The heart may still be weeping

The heart may still miss that face

The heart might still be wounded

Even when you’re in a truly happy place

 

 

 

So this is the final goodbye

So this is the final so long

So these are the last notes

The last chorus of the last song

 

 

 

A smile lingers as fall those last tears

A last chord plays and fades softly away

And a wish, a hope, goes out to the universe

It’s a brand new song, a brand new day

 

 

 

 

Rach

2008

 

 

“Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones”

– Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

 

 

“True love stories never have endings”.

– Richard Bach

 

 

“The music may have stopped

but my heart beats to another tune,

this rhythm called love”

– A.C. Van Cherub

 

 

 


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Out That Door

Out that door - poem

 

 

Out That Door

 

 

 

 

 

When you walked away

When you walked out that door

I thought my life was over

Thought I’d sorrow forever more

I would sit alone and cry

My heart in pieces in my hand

Too tired to fight

Too broken to stand

 

 

I gave it all

Gave my life, my soul, my heart

Gave you everything

All I had, right from the start

I would have given my life

If it meant saving yours

You were the reason

You were the cause

 

 

I lived for your smile

Lived for your laugh and love

I thought we were forever

Thought we would rise above

But I was wrong

You never loved me

I was blinded

A fool who just couldn’t see

 

 

Love isn’t love

When it intentionally causes pain

Love doesn’t think only of self

Only about what it can gain

Love keeps on trying

Love gives more than it takes

Love tries to make better

The other persons heart aches

 

 

But that wasn’t you

It was always only me

And it took a heart stabbed over and over

Before I could see

You gave me away

In the blink of an eye

Left me alone

Left love to fade away and die

 

 

You didn’t care

You didn’t think of my pain

You left me there

Left me in the cold dark rain

I was a shadow

A nothingness in your mind

A muted voice

When it came to me – you were blind

 

 

But life is never over

For a heart that is true

There is always a tomorrow

Always a new and more beautiful view

I find now I’m wiser

And I’m braver

And when I look back at you

I see now – you did me a favor

 

 

When you went your way

With selfish abandon

You opened to me to a future

I had never planned on

Freed of your shackles

I wandered confused and blind

Until I stumbled heedlessly into love

The forever after kind

 

 

The sweetest snare

The most comfortable place

I could finally see a future

Written in every line of that face

I could see with a new clarity

And now I know

How the rest of my story

Is sure to go

 

 

No more tears and pain

No more pointless tomorrow

Nothing to doubt

Nothing to sorrow

A love that’s true

Radiant and real

With a man not afraid

To feel what I feel

 

 

I’ve found my home

So easy, so free

A place where I can breathe

Where I can truly be me

A hand to hold

Through every dark winters night

A voice to laugh with

When life’s sun is smilingly bright

 

 

A heart that sings

In tune with mine

A soul that brings a beat

To all my rhyme

Eyes that can see

Straight through to my heart

Beside me every day

Even if oceans should keep us apart

 

 

This is the end of a story

An epic tale

Where the good triumph

As the evil fail

Heroes struggle to the end

Through despair and night

Through many dark perils

Until they find the light

 

 

I struggled in loneliness

Wrapped up in a mask

Ten years of not knowing

Which questions to ask

Ten years of despair

Disguised with a laugh

Stumbling blindfolded

Groping along an impossible path

 

 

And even before that

I longed to roam

For I always felt like an outcast

In the place I called home

They never really knew me

They just passed on by

And I always knew

I had to go, had to fly

 

 

For I knew out there

Somewhere under the same moon

Some one was looking up

Asking God for a boon

Under some distant set of stars

Someone was asking for me

Calling out across

Some storm tossed sea

 

 

I heard that call

But on my way to him

I came across you

And I fell to your whim

I followed you down

Through valleys of thorn and mire

Through howling storms

And searing fire

 

 

But now I’m on the other side

Looking back through the pain

A phoenix rising

Born from the ashes and flame

I am grateful

For all the lessons you taught me

Thank you for where I am

Thank you for where you’ve brought me

 

 

I can’t regret the past

The when and the how

For look at the outcome

Look at me now

I’ve found my future

I know who I am

I’ve faced the good and the bad

And I know how to stand

 

 

I’ve found my love

I’ve found where I belong

For I found that soul

That was calling out to me all along

Now I’m never alone

Never again anymore

So thanks be to you

For walking out that door

 

 

Rach

2008

 

Out that door - ryan murphy quote

 

 

“Trust in Jehovah and do what is good;

Reside in the earth, and act with faithfulness.

Find exquisite delight in Jehovah,

And he will grant you the desires of your heart.”

– Psalm 37:3-4, David, Son of Jess

 

 

“When one door closes another door opens;

but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door,

that we do not see the ones which open for us. “

– Alexander Graham Bell

 

 

“Finish each day and be done with it. 

You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in;

forget them as soon as you can. 

Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely

and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

“Hope begins in the dark,

the stubborn hope that if you just show up

and try to do the right thing,

the dawn will come”

– Anne Lamott

 

 

“The human story does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and two make four.  Sometimes in life they make five or minus three; and sometimes the blackboard topples down in the middle of the sum and leaves the class in disorder and the pedagogue with a black eye.”

– Winston Churchill

 

 

“Your heart has been sore wounded too.

Dear Light, love shall cherish you,

till you again look on life with happy eyes.”

– Byron Caldwell Smith, letter to Kate Stephens

 

 


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Good Enough

Rach and the Prince - I hate the day

 

 

Good Enough

 

 

 

 

Once Upon a time

I thought you were my prince

You were Mr. Perfect

Of that I was convinced

 

I thought you were clever

I considered you wise

You were so wonderful

A treasure, a fantastical prize

 

You weren’t  a flirt

And you wouldn’t hide

You were exactly like me

I thought with naive pride

 

You were my friend

You would look out for me

And one day you’d carry me off

On your dashing white steed

 

I imbued you with all the qualities

Of the man I imagined you to be

I thought you were the one

The only one for me

 

And although the question niggled

Was I good enough for you?

I never picked up

Just asking that should’ve been a clue

 

Then once upon a time

I woke up to watch helpless as you ran

I heard lying words on your lips

And realised my prince was made of sand

 

There was no Mr. Perfect

In fact, there was no man

There was just a boy

And his big marching band

 

You had to keep up

You had to sing along

You feared to be different

And so you just marched on and on

 

You weren’t looking out for me

There was no dashing steed

There was just you

And there was just me

 

At the time I was crushed

Disappointed to realise

You were just as flawed as me

You were no fantastical prize

 

But looking back I laugh

Because now I plainly see

The question I should’ve been asking was:

Were you good enough for me?

 

 

 

Rach

2008

 

 

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. 

He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice.” 

~ Albert Einstein

 

 

“A man must consider what a rich realm he abdicates when he becomes a conformist.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

“Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. 

But like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides,

and following them you will reach your destiny.”

– Carl Schurz, address, Faneuil Hall, Boston, 1859

 

 

“Bachelors’ wives and old maids’ children are always perfect.”

– Nicholas Chamfort