A Raconteur Girl Production

Posts tagged “mourning

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Out That Door

Out that door - poem

 

 

Out That Door

 

 

 

 

 

When you walked away

When you walked out that door

I thought my life was over

Thought I’d sorrow forever more

I would sit alone and cry

My heart in pieces in my hand

Too tired to fight

Too broken to stand

 

 

I gave it all

Gave my life, my soul, my heart

Gave you everything

All I had, right from the start

I would have given my life

If it meant saving yours

You were the reason

You were the cause

 

 

I lived for your smile

Lived for your laugh and love

I thought we were forever

Thought we would rise above

But I was wrong

You never loved me

I was blinded

A fool who just couldn’t see

 

 

Love isn’t love

When it intentionally causes pain

Love doesn’t think only of self

Only about what it can gain

Love keeps on trying

Love gives more than it takes

Love tries to make better

The other persons heart aches

 

 

But that wasn’t you

It was always only me

And it took a heart stabbed over and over

Before I could see

You gave me away

In the blink of an eye

Left me alone

Left love to fade away and die

 

 

You didn’t care

You didn’t think of my pain

You left me there

Left me in the cold dark rain

I was a shadow

A nothingness in your mind

A muted voice

When it came to me – you were blind

 

 

But life is never over

For a heart that is true

There is always a tomorrow

Always a new and more beautiful view

I find now I’m wiser

And I’m braver

And when I look back at you

I see now – you did me a favor

 

 

When you went your way

With selfish abandon

You opened to me to a future

I had never planned on

Freed of your shackles

I wandered confused and blind

Until I stumbled heedlessly into love

The forever after kind

 

 

The sweetest snare

The most comfortable place

I could finally see a future

Written in every line of that face

I could see with a new clarity

And now I know

How the rest of my story

Is sure to go

 

 

No more tears and pain

No more pointless tomorrow

Nothing to doubt

Nothing to sorrow

A love that’s true

Radiant and real

With a man not afraid

To feel what I feel

 

 

I’ve found my home

So easy, so free

A place where I can breathe

Where I can truly be me

A hand to hold

Through every dark winters night

A voice to laugh with

When life’s sun is smilingly bright

 

 

A heart that sings

In tune with mine

A soul that brings a beat

To all my rhyme

Eyes that can see

Straight through to my heart

Beside me every day

Even if oceans should keep us apart

 

 

This is the end of a story

An epic tale

Where the good triumph

As the evil fail

Heroes struggle to the end

Through despair and night

Through many dark perils

Until they find the light

 

 

I struggled in loneliness

Wrapped up in a mask

Ten years of not knowing

Which questions to ask

Ten years of despair

Disguised with a laugh

Stumbling blindfolded

Groping along an impossible path

 

 

And even before that

I longed to roam

For I always felt like an outcast

In the place I called home

They never really knew me

They just passed on by

And I always knew

I had to go, had to fly

 

 

For I knew out there

Somewhere under the same moon

Some one was looking up

Asking God for a boon

Under some distant set of stars

Someone was asking for me

Calling out across

Some storm tossed sea

 

 

I heard that call

But on my way to him

I came across you

And I fell to your whim

I followed you down

Through valleys of thorn and mire

Through howling storms

And searing fire

 

 

But now I’m on the other side

Looking back through the pain

A phoenix rising

Born from the ashes and flame

I am grateful

For all the lessons you taught me

Thank you for where I am

Thank you for where you’ve brought me

 

 

I can’t regret the past

The when and the how

For look at the outcome

Look at me now

I’ve found my future

I know who I am

I’ve faced the good and the bad

And I know how to stand

 

 

I’ve found my love

I’ve found where I belong

For I found that soul

That was calling out to me all along

Now I’m never alone

Never again anymore

So thanks be to you

For walking out that door

 

 

Rach

2008

 

Out that door - ryan murphy quote

 

 

“Trust in Jehovah and do what is good;

Reside in the earth, and act with faithfulness.

Find exquisite delight in Jehovah,

And he will grant you the desires of your heart.”

– Psalm 37:3-4, David, Son of Jess

 

 

“When one door closes another door opens;

but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door,

that we do not see the ones which open for us. “

– Alexander Graham Bell

 

 

“Finish each day and be done with it. 

You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in;

forget them as soon as you can. 

Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely

and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

“Hope begins in the dark,

the stubborn hope that if you just show up

and try to do the right thing,

the dawn will come”

– Anne Lamott

 

 

“The human story does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and two make four.  Sometimes in life they make five or minus three; and sometimes the blackboard topples down in the middle of the sum and leaves the class in disorder and the pedagogue with a black eye.”

– Winston Churchill

 

 

“Your heart has been sore wounded too.

Dear Light, love shall cherish you,

till you again look on life with happy eyes.”

– Byron Caldwell Smith, letter to Kate Stephens

 

 

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Just Be There

 

Just be there - long collage

 

 

 

Just Be There

 

 

 

 

I don’t know why

But I feel so sad

Those old demons

Have got me bad

 

 

There’s a big black cloud

Hanging over my head

It’s telling me I should

Just stay in bed

 

 

I don’t understand

Why I feel this way

But I wish the whole world

Would just go away

 

 

No one wants to see

The sadness inside

So behind my smile

I’ll let it hide

 

 

They don’t want to hear

The tears I shed

So they fall in silence

And I laugh instead

 

 

They don’t look too close

In case they see

The sorrow and fear

Still alive in me

 

 

It’s uncomfortable to face

Another’s pain

It’s easier just to leave

Them alone in the rain

 

 

They want me to be

Happy and light

They want me to say

I’m fine every thing is alright

 

 

But it’s too hard 

To always be the happy clown

Eventually the happy

Just brings you down

 

 

The end of a life

Is something to mourn

Dreams ripped apart

A gaping hole torn

 

 

The final last breath

Of a very good thing

Is like the bitter cold of winter

Not a bright sunny spring

 

 

Some stories are tragic

Their endings are vile

And you can’t make it better

With a laugh and a smile

 

 

You can’t replace a broken life

Over night

You can’t take all the wrong

And make it instantly right

 

 

You can’t rebuild a broken heart

With a hammer and nail

There are no quick miracle cures

For the deep wounds of betrayal

 

 

Sorrow takes time to abate

And fear to allay

And the scars from those jaggered wounds

May never truly fade away

 

 

Tomorrow is on its way

It will inevitably come

And with it

The rising of a bright new sun

 

 

And I’ll most likely smile

When I see that dawn

And I’ll feel like laughing

When I bask in all the golden warm

 

 

But today I’m sad

And I’m in pain

And I’m standing with my face

Turned up to feel the cold cold rain

 

 

And I’ll feel it all

And want to cry

So if you ask me

Don’t expect a lie

 

 

Don’t tell me to laugh

To be happy and smile

Just tell me

You’ll stand by me a while

 

 

 

All you have to do

If you truly care

Is take my hand

And just be there

 

 

 

Rach

2007