A Raconteur Girl Production

Posts tagged “Pain

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Forbear

 

 

Charles Dickens - Kid superheroe collage

 

 

 

Forbear

 

 

Come

Stand in my shoes

Come walk where I have been

Come see through my eyes

Come

See all that I have seen

 

If you could wear my skin

If you could feel all I have felt

If you could feel the words spoken in my ears

If you could feel all the pain my hearts been dealt

 

Take all I have experienced

Take my memories and make them yours

Take all the cuts

All the bruises

Take all the wounds from my private unseen wars

 

Let my tears fill your eyes

Let them over flow and fall

Let the hard floor be your comfort

Let no one hear

Let no one come

No one at all

 

Love will be elusive

Love will not be for you

No matter how hard you work

No matter how sincere

How loyal

How true

 

You will always be at fault

You will always be wrong

You will always need to turn the other cheek

You will always be forced to be strong

 

You will see others rise with ease

You will see them look on uncaring as you fall

You will see them float by on gilt edged clouds

While you beg

While you crawl

 

When you need it most

You will find no shade and shelter

You will find desert

Cutting rocks and scorching sun

You will be left to bleed

Left to thirst

Left to swelter

 

All the fruitless struggles

All the desperate prayers

All the bitter midnight tears

All the times you took the blame to keep the peace

All the pain

All those years

 

Run where I have run

Where I went searching for relief

Sleep where I have slept

Where I lay immobilised with grief

 

Stumble over the questions

The unanswerable mysteries of my life

Some things will never be understood

Some memories will always cut through like a knife

 

If you could stand in my shoes

If you could wear my skin

If you could see through my eyes

If you could be where I have been

 

Then

You would understand

Then you could empathise

Then you would forbear your judgement

Then you would feel more keenly the need to wipe tears from others eyes

 

You would laugh loud, and as often as you can

You would hug

And love

And hold dear

You would accept only what is real

What is given without pretence

Without hesitation

Without fear

 

For love has no fear

Love is honest, it has no fake

Love listens

Love heals and protects

Love lets itself be nailed to a stake

 

Love lifts up, holds and carries

Love deals in reason, truth and fact

Love will not turn a back to those in need

Love will not hesitate to act

 

Experience is a great teacher

In the loving it produces still more love

It causes buds of patience to flower in humble hearts

It opens discerning eyes to see the wisdom from above

 

So forbear to judge those that God does love

Forbear to criticise

Forbear until you’ve stood in their shoes

Until you’ve worn their skin

Until you’ve listened with their ears

Until you’ve seen their world

Through their eyes

 

 

Rach

2014

 

 

“But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you also look down on your brother? For we will all stand before the judgement seat of God… Therefore, let us not judge one another any longer but, rather, be determined not to put a stumbling block or an obstacle before a brother.”

– Romans 14:10, 13

 

 

“If only I may grow:  firmer, simpler, quieter, warmer.”

– Dag Hammarskjold

 

 

“It’s not enough to have a dream,

Unless you’re willing to pursue it.

It’s not enough to know what’s right,

Unless you’re strong enough to do it.

It’s not enough to learn the truth,

Unless you also learn to live it.

It’s not enough to reach for love,

Unless you care enough to give it.”

– Anon

 

 

 


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Gossip: a poem by an anonymous author

 

Gossip Poem quote

 

 

 


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Drop a Word (aka: Mean Girls)

 

Technically its not gossip if

 

Drop a Word

(Aka: Mean Girls)

 

 

I drop a word in your ear

About that person, the one I secretly loathe

Something ‘they say’, plucked from the grapevine

(A fact? A fiction? Really, who’s to know?)

 

I didn’t hear it from the horse’s mouth

It is you see, a shocking thing

But apparently, (although I can’t say one hundred percent for sure)

It has a totally truthful ring

 

Of course I didn’t ask the ‘horse’, (the person)

For their side of the story

That would require talking, which could be awkward

And I’m really not up for that, (so sorry!)

 

Though I wasn’t there, and I didn’t see it

I swear it has been verified

(By all my friends, my family,

And by everyone else who’s on my side)

 

A friend of a friend did ask the ‘horse’, (the person), you know

And although they explained this and that

The friend of a friend reported that what was said was open to interpretation

(The truth is fluid – and that’s a factual fact!)

 

I know I really shouldn’t gossip

Gossip leaves such a nasty taste!

But, I’m really concerned about this person

(Concerned that they should be put firmly back in their place!)

 

So as much as it pains me

I must tell you all about it – just you, just in case

(In case that person thought they could share

My friends, my spotlight – in general – my space!)

 

I won’t say much, just a word, just a look

(I know you’ll be begging me for more!

Once a word is dropped, it gains momentum,

It springs to life with a roar!)

 

So I drop a word in your ear

(Hoping it travels to your tongue)

I smile at your ‘No! Really?’ in that disapproving tone. You lean forward, a hushed question on your lips

Yep. My work here is done

 

 

Rach

2014

 

 

“A slanderer goes about revealing confidential talk;

Do not associate with one who loves to gossip.”

– Proverbs 20:19, The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures

 

 

“A cruel story runs on wheels, and every hand oils the wheels as they run.”

– Ouida

  

 

“Gossip needn’t be false to be evil — there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.”

– Frank A. Clark

 

 

“Trying to squash a rumour is like trying to unring a bell.”

– Shana Alexander

 

 

“The biggest liar in the world is They Say.”

– Douglas Malloch

 

 

“There is so much good in the worst of us,

And so much bad in the best of us,

That it hardly becomes any of us

To talk about the rest of us.”

– Edward Wallis Hoch

 

 

 


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Tears We Never Shed

Tears quote for word press - skinny

 

 

 

Tears We Never Shed

 

 

 

Some tears we cry but never shed

We just bury them as deep as we can instead

 

Until the day the flood gates open

And we pour out all the grief that was never spoken

 

Grief for all that we’ve seen

For all the hurt

For all of what could’ve been

Pushed down and repressed in our crying heart

Till it over flows and finally bursts apart

 

On that day we spell it out

Give voice to the woe

Put it where it deserves to be

Where it needs to go

 

Sometimes it’s the deepest hurts

The ones we can’t do anything about

That we refuse to look at

We refuse to feel

To cry

To shout

 

But as we say the words and cry the tears

As we feel the pain

We shed our fears

 

With nothing more to hold inside

We can finally breathe

We feel a new wind on our face

Give sorrow a reprieve

 

Like a candle glowing in the dark

Like the day that follows night

We will find the way again

We will find the light

 

Then we can look back

In memory and not in pain

Look back with wisdom at times that will never come again

 

The hurt dissipates once all the tears are gone

And rainbow skies appear

So bright

So clear

 

And your heart moves on

 

 

 

Rach

2011

 

 

Awake! March 2014 “Your Mysterious Tears”

http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201403/your-mysterious-tears/

 

 


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A Survivors Tale

 

 

It was the silence quote

 

 

A Survivors Tale

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I think I’m over it

I am sure I’m in repair

But then something stirs and shows me

The old wounds still fester

The old wounds are all still there

 

 

Memories slink in hidden corners

Ghost ships rising from silty graves

Nightmares resurrected

And it’s me they come to torture

It’s me they still enslave

 

 

You have no right! I scream

You have no right! I rage

You took your pound of flesh

Before I put flame to your sails

Before I broke free from your deep, dark cage

 

 

I fight you – still you come

I hate you – still you stay

Time after time I slay you

Why won’t you be done?

Why won’t you die where you lay?

 

 

I have my armor

I have my shield

Love is mine, mine forever

I know who I am

I know what is and isn’t real

 

 

But still you rise

Still you cut me

You pursue me like hound and hare

You take my truth and give me lies

You take my fear and gut me

 

 

I do not deserve this

I do not deserve to bleed

I was their scapegoat

They left me alone, they tied me up

They let the vultures feed

 

 

Charm and fire and whispers

Agendas and politics and pretence

Feathers caught in a whirlwind

Blown to kingdom come

Scattered to where there can be no defense

 

 

Faces of flint and backs of stone

Turned as one, turned to go

Bargains struck, deals made

Pouring oil on my burning pain

Fanning the flames of my woe

 

 

Where the balm and binding?

Where the healing hand?

Where the staff and crook?

Where the voice of reason?

Where the firm place to stand?

 

 

Nowhere

 

Nowhere the comfort and brace

Nowhere the wisdom

Nowhere the faith

Nowhere the all embracing grace

 

Nowhere

 

 

Those memories are the knives that cut

The stinging truths that make me sick

That is where the nightmares linger

Those cuts were deep

Those cuts still drip

 

 

So the Ghosts are going to win a while

Sunken ships shall rise and sail

And slinking memories will find me

Where the wounds still weep

Where I hide and shake and quail

 

 

This is my stake

This is the hammer and the nail

This is their creation

This is my story

This is what lies behind the veil

 

This is a survivor’s tale

 

 

 

Rach

2014

 

 

 

 

“Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.” 

Jennifer Yane

 

 

“An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation,

nor does truth become error because nobody sees it”

Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

“’Now I know what a ghost is,’ he thought. ‘Unfinished business, that’s what.’ “

Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses

 

 

“Thoughts shut up want air,
And spoil, like bales unopened to the sun.”
– Edward Young, Night Thoughts

 

 

“Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you’re just a reflection of him?”

– Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

 

 

Reality bites… and doesn’t let go.” – Anon

 



“There is no ghost so difficult to lay as the ghost of an injury.”

– Alexander Smith

 

 

 

“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”

– Stephen King

 

 

 

too tight shoes

 

 

 

 


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Smiling Searching Thinking Knowing

 

Let her go Passenger

 

 

Smiling Searching Thinking Knowing

 

 

 

 

 

Smiling in the sunshine

Searching for a reason

Looking for a clue

Thinking about times past

Remembering those words

I’m thinking about you

 

 

Thinking if I were yours

What would you do?

It’s all too deep for you

Knowing you want easy

You want light

You want shiny and new

 

 

Thinking you wouldn’t be there

As I need you to be

I’ve seen the preview

Knowing you want acceptance

You want definition

Knowing you can’t take blue

 

 

Thinking of your shadows

Of your corners too

I have too clear a view

There’s nowhere to slide

Nowhere to blend

I see right on through

 

 

I don’t wear blinders

I don’t do masks

I won’t ignore what’s true

Knowing you can’t duck

You can’t hide

I’m looking straight at you

 

 

Thinking in the sunshine

Smiling in the warm

Taking in the view

Knowing it’s too late

Thinking of the things I’ll miss

Knowing I’ll miss you

 

 

 

2008

Rach

 

 

 

 

 

“Have you ever been in love?  Horrible isn’t it?  It makes you so vulnerable. 

It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. 

You build up all these defences, you build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life….

You give them a piece of you.  They didn’t ask for it.  They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. 

Love takes hostages.  It gets inside you.  It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.  It hurts. 

Not just in the imagination.  Not just in the mind.  It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.  I hate love.”

– Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

 

 

 


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Out That Door

Out that door - poem

 

 

Out That Door

 

 

 

 

 

When you walked away

When you walked out that door

I thought my life was over

Thought I’d sorrow forever more

I would sit alone and cry

My heart in pieces in my hand

Too tired to fight

Too broken to stand

 

 

I gave it all

Gave my life, my soul, my heart

Gave you everything

All I had, right from the start

I would have given my life

If it meant saving yours

You were the reason

You were the cause

 

 

I lived for your smile

Lived for your laugh and love

I thought we were forever

Thought we would rise above

But I was wrong

You never loved me

I was blinded

A fool who just couldn’t see

 

 

Love isn’t love

When it intentionally causes pain

Love doesn’t think only of self

Only about what it can gain

Love keeps on trying

Love gives more than it takes

Love tries to make better

The other persons heart aches

 

 

But that wasn’t you

It was always only me

And it took a heart stabbed over and over

Before I could see

You gave me away

In the blink of an eye

Left me alone

Left love to fade away and die

 

 

You didn’t care

You didn’t think of my pain

You left me there

Left me in the cold dark rain

I was a shadow

A nothingness in your mind

A muted voice

When it came to me – you were blind

 

 

But life is never over

For a heart that is true

There is always a tomorrow

Always a new and more beautiful view

I find now I’m wiser

And I’m braver

And when I look back at you

I see now – you did me a favor

 

 

When you went your way

With selfish abandon

You opened to me to a future

I had never planned on

Freed of your shackles

I wandered confused and blind

Until I stumbled heedlessly into love

The forever after kind

 

 

The sweetest snare

The most comfortable place

I could finally see a future

Written in every line of that face

I could see with a new clarity

And now I know

How the rest of my story

Is sure to go

 

 

No more tears and pain

No more pointless tomorrow

Nothing to doubt

Nothing to sorrow

A love that’s true

Radiant and real

With a man not afraid

To feel what I feel

 

 

I’ve found my home

So easy, so free

A place where I can breathe

Where I can truly be me

A hand to hold

Through every dark winters night

A voice to laugh with

When life’s sun is smilingly bright

 

 

A heart that sings

In tune with mine

A soul that brings a beat

To all my rhyme

Eyes that can see

Straight through to my heart

Beside me every day

Even if oceans should keep us apart

 

 

This is the end of a story

An epic tale

Where the good triumph

As the evil fail

Heroes struggle to the end

Through despair and night

Through many dark perils

Until they find the light

 

 

I struggled in loneliness

Wrapped up in a mask

Ten years of not knowing

Which questions to ask

Ten years of despair

Disguised with a laugh

Stumbling blindfolded

Groping along an impossible path

 

 

And even before that

I longed to roam

For I always felt like an outcast

In the place I called home

They never really knew me

They just passed on by

And I always knew

I had to go, had to fly

 

 

For I knew out there

Somewhere under the same moon

Some one was looking up

Asking God for a boon

Under some distant set of stars

Someone was asking for me

Calling out across

Some storm tossed sea

 

 

I heard that call

But on my way to him

I came across you

And I fell to your whim

I followed you down

Through valleys of thorn and mire

Through howling storms

And searing fire

 

 

But now I’m on the other side

Looking back through the pain

A phoenix rising

Born from the ashes and flame

I am grateful

For all the lessons you taught me

Thank you for where I am

Thank you for where you’ve brought me

 

 

I can’t regret the past

The when and the how

For look at the outcome

Look at me now

I’ve found my future

I know who I am

I’ve faced the good and the bad

And I know how to stand

 

 

I’ve found my love

I’ve found where I belong

For I found that soul

That was calling out to me all along

Now I’m never alone

Never again anymore

So thanks be to you

For walking out that door

 

 

Rach

2008

 

Out that door - ryan murphy quote

 

 

“Trust in Jehovah and do what is good;

Reside in the earth, and act with faithfulness.

Find exquisite delight in Jehovah,

And he will grant you the desires of your heart.”

– Psalm 37:3-4, David, Son of Jess

 

 

“When one door closes another door opens;

but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door,

that we do not see the ones which open for us. “

– Alexander Graham Bell

 

 

“Finish each day and be done with it. 

You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in;

forget them as soon as you can. 

Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely

and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

“Hope begins in the dark,

the stubborn hope that if you just show up

and try to do the right thing,

the dawn will come”

– Anne Lamott

 

 

“The human story does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and two make four.  Sometimes in life they make five or minus three; and sometimes the blackboard topples down in the middle of the sum and leaves the class in disorder and the pedagogue with a black eye.”

– Winston Churchill

 

 

“Your heart has been sore wounded too.

Dear Light, love shall cherish you,

till you again look on life with happy eyes.”

– Byron Caldwell Smith, letter to Kate Stephens